You say you don't believe in miracles, well I have a story to share

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ksupoke

We don't need no, thot kuntrol
A/V Subscriber
Feb 16, 2011
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dark sarcasm in the classroom
#1
Instead of replying to all the emails I am going to do this once and put it here it is also a message of hope & faith that I want to share.
First I want to apologize to those whom I haven’t responded to, to those I normally send a Christmas gift to, you also have my sincere apologies, Napa was not top of mind but know you never strayed from our thoughts. So to quote a well worn and time honored phrase, ‘life happened’ those of you who know me also know that life has happened to my family at a frightening pace over the last 4+ years but this was by far the one that happened the ‘hardest’.
We all deal with things in our own ways and I have always taken the ‘Okie’ way, you absorb the impact, you gather yourself, you maintain and strengthen your faith in God and you make a plan to move forward regardless of the outcome, the main reason I haven’t reached out is that I have always thought it pretentious of me (this is just me it is not meant to disparage anyone as I said we all have our own ways of dealing with less than ideal circumstances) to ask for prayers as life happens to everyone and my obstacles, while deeply personal, are no greater or lesser than those faced by others. Having said that those of you who offered your prayers you will never know the depth of my gratitude, words simply cannot express my thanks, this has always served me well and this time has been no exception, although I did break this on this occasion as I reached out to a couple of folks on here outside of the site and certain others (families) who had known my son since he was a toddler, I am not sure why I did this but I know it helped. I was told by another parent, we met through this, that keeping a log was therapeutic, I’m not sure about that but the following are excerpts from mine.

If you ever run into someone who doesn’t believe in miracles, send them my way, I have a story to share

This was my son approx. 5 yrs ago;
Had this story been told at this time it would have been no less devastating but it would have been of far less surprise to us, however this story is being told one week after he began his full time job at Dell at the Boeing plant in Mesa Az after his APEX contract had been bought out, iow, he was on his way, correction, he is on his way.

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This was my son November 11th 2018, he remained in this condition for the next 2 weeks
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On the evening of November 8th, 2018 (28th birthday) my son through a series of bad decisions on the parts of several parties (including his own, fortunately there was no autos involved & or others who were injured) suffered a TBI, for those of you who don’t know what that is and until that day I was counted among them, that is an acronym for, traumatic brain injury, emphasis on traumatic. While the outcome of the accident was horrific a stream miracles began almost immediately, one the firemen who were first on the scene thought he was simply rip roaring drunk (he was), but just as they were getting ready to tell this to the EMT and that is wasn’t that serious, one of the EMT’s noticed him and said he might be drunk but this if far more than that, had he not gone to the hospital immediately he would have been dead within the hour. 2 the location of the accident was such that he was transported to one of the very few brain trauma surgeons (centers) in the Phoenix area, that being Honor Health, had his accident occurred one street over he would have gone to a standard er, would he have died, I can’t and won’t say but certainly his outcome could have been far different.

On the morning of November 9th I was in a meeting with one of my consulting clients when I saw the number on my mobile, it was my son, it being the day after his birthday, I thought he was calling to say thanks for the money, so I didn’t answer. About 30 seconds later it came again I reached to silence it again but this time I felt compelled to answer, God’s touch, as I don’t pretend to know why. It was my son’s friend calling to tell me that my son was in the hospital, ok, why, then he handed to phone to the Trauma center nurse who told me that a trauma surgeon (Dr Sucher, who is also a combat surgeon and wholly trained in these matters) was on the way and that he had suffered a significant injury to his brain, that we needed to come out immediately, Dr Sucher then took the phone and said, you need to come ready to make some hard decisions, it was at that point I realized that this was far more serious than a normal accident.
Within 4 hours my wife left for Phoenix, except for 3 days in March, she has been there ever since.

I was leaving on the 11am flight the next morning, at about 915am I received another call this one from my wife saying she was unable to talk to the surgeons (Dr Mirzadeh & Dr Murphy of the Barrow’s brain institute) she was simply overcome with emotion, so the surgeon called me, his words froze time, we are going to need to remove approximately ½ of your son’s skull, I asked why, he said, to save his life, he won’t survive the day without the procedure (craniectomy), he then asked if I wanted to know the risks and I said no, you have my permission to proceed. He said are you sure you don’t want to know and I said save my son’s life, we’ll deal with the outcome whatever it is, I don’t care if you are the most evil person on earth, I pray you never have that conversation.
I flew out as did a good portion of my family from Oklahoma later that day and as I was walking through Skyharbor I received another call, it was Dr Murphy, your son’s brain is bleeding profusely and pooling we have to go back in, we are going to suction the blood and we are going to insert a device to monitor pressure (I don’t recall what it is called but the picture shows it, we called it a unicorn), he again asked if I wanted to know the risks and I again told him no, this time I added, God has placed my son’s life in your hands for a reason and I won’t question it but please save my son.
On November 13th I called my son’s supervisor to inform him of what happened, he broke down in tears and told me that when he was ready to go back to work, he would have a job, my son had worked for them for about a week and as some of you will know they were under no obligation to do anything, they were well within their rights and I was prepared for them to say they needed to talk to legal to see what they would do next, instead, Kevin told me not to worry Dell would place him on FMLA – for the uninitiated that doesn’t become obligatory until after your 52nd week of employment, yes, another miracle as beyond that they did this, it started the spark of hope for a family in desperate need of hope.


This was my son on November 24th after removal of the unicorn 2018, he would remain in this condition for another 2 weeks

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My son was in a coma (some of it induced) for roughly 4 weeks during which time the only movement we saw was when they brought through ‘care dogs’ a large mix breed put his head next to my son’s hand and the nurse moved his hand to the dog’s head and he appeared to, ever so slightly, move his fingers as if he were petting the dog, they then put a smaller dog next to him in bed and a similar thing happened, the nurse and surgeon warned us that this was most likely reflex, but I had been praying for something, anything and while I was in no position to argue, I knew better.

On November 20th we were given a list of nursing homes and I asked what this was for, I was told that I needed to find a home where he could be transferred to and it had to allow patients with trach's & vents and that is not as easy as it sounds, I asked why the rush to move him and I was told that changes to insurance necessitated that they move patients out and open up the ICU beds, it is then that I understood the full impact of the aca, I pray none of you is ever impacted in this way. I also found out that there were compassionate doctors / surgeons and I went to them as a dad and told them that we needed at least until he was awake, they said he may never wake up, I told them that was not in God’s plan. However, I did in fact visit several nursing homes, at the end of this tour I told the client rep at the hospital that before I put my son in one of these I would have them make him ambulatory and I would drive him back to Pleasanton and he would live in our home and I would learn to change the vent or whatever else was needed.

Some 3 weeks in I had a dream, originally I wasn’t going to share it with anyone as even I felt it was to farfetched to seem real, but I did share it with many people including at least one person on this site and I shared it prior to what occurred next, in the dream my wife and I were walking along a beach and up ahead of us we saw our son, he was walking with a man in a long flowing robe, I hollered his name he didn’t respond, I hollered again and he looked back at us and then he looked up at the man he was walking with, I hollered a 3rd time and he came running back to us and he said, don’t worry mom and dad, I’ll be back and then he ran back ahead and hugged that man he was with. When he ran back to us I said what did you mean you’d be back and he said that Jesus wasn’t finished with him yet and the 3 of us turned and went back down the beach where we had come from.

Not long after this when they were changing out a part of the ventilator (3:47am, I was sleeping in his room as one of us did every day) that was in his throat, he coughed and came to. Everyone was in shock the nurses said can you believe this, I told her I can not only believe it, I expected it, I was told it would happen. Now, we take 1.9 steps back for every 2 steps forward but every day since he has seen some improvement if ever so slight, we have awful days, we have bad days, we have neutral days, we have ok days, we have good days and we have great days and every one of these days is a blessing.

After he awoke from the coma Dr Zach (Barrows neuroligist whose care my son was under) and Dr Sucher were adamant that we still have no idea where he would get back to but not to hold out hope, in fact at every point they discouraged us from any type of optimism, while I understood what they were saying I knew they didn’t know my God, they also told us that where he was in 24 mos is where he woud be for the rest of his life, they were spot on but not in the way they would have ever expected. They explained that when Dr Mirzadeh & Dr Murphy had gone back in and suctioned the blood from my son’s brain that they could not and would not know in the near future if he might have suctioned brain matter as that is actually not uncommon.
We began physical rehab the very next day.
This was my son’s first day out of bed since his accident;
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In December and 3 weeks after we were told our son would have to move to make a bed ready in the ICU my son did in fact leave the ICU but not for a nursing home but an actual physical therapy center also run by Honor Health, the miracles were simply continuing. I went to Dr Sucher to thank him for not rushing my son, I also knew that he had seen this injury far too often in combat and was preparing to ask him some questions but before I could he said, Doctors treat wounds, God heals, I felt it before but I knew then that God had placed us here, it was no accident.
Later in December my wife (primarily, as I was commuting every weekend after spending 2 weeks at the outset, something anyone who runs into a situation like this has to understand, you cannot save one child at the expense of your other child and that was something we have held to strongly) had been living out of the Marriott and ubering to and from, here is where I will add, we are extremely thankful and blessed that we were able to handle this type of financial situation as we met some fine people during this who loved their child no less but were in no position to take on the obligations we were, additionally as Okie’s always do, we were overwhelmed with offers of support from my mom and sisters friends and congregations, some may not think so but this to me is one more miracle, everyone now had a support mechanism to deal with this. Now in December in Phoenix we needed to find a short term (6-9 mo) apartment lease, if there are any on here familiar with this you know that this is next to impossible (spring training is on the horizon and the snow birds are in full flight so everything essentially doubles if you require short term accommodations), on Dec 21st my wife was perusing craigslist and she saw an ad, a couple needed to move back to Wa state and needed someone to take over the last 6 mos of the lease, it was 3 miles from the rehab hospital and she could move in on Dec 27th best of all the complex was waiving everything except a funds verification so we literally could move in as soon as the couple vacated, my wife moved into the Desert Club apartments on Dec 27th and if you haven’t guessed by now, yes that was another miracle, we had no other options as even the Marriott had nights that weren’t available.

This was my son in January 2019, first time outside of the ICU after xfr to rehab, I told them I would not leave until my son saw the sunshine.

1562394207194.png


This was my son 2 days later in January when he was allowed to go outside, if you thing you notice I have not changed clothes, you are right, (not incl ambulance rides) for the first time since his accident
1562394241419.png


This is my son in February 2019, his first outing since his accident – the GM asked us what was going on and we told him, my wife and son were comp’ed a meal a week all the way through March, as I mentioned we have met some incredible people along this trek.

1562394272087.png


In late February of 2019 Dr Mirzadeh this time at St Joe’s, reattached (cranioplasty) my son’s skull in March the 78 staples (I will not share those pics) were removed from his skull and he was released to live in the apartment Scottsdale. He has had (as we had been warned) multiple seizures but they are NES so that is good and he shows no sign of being epileptic at this point and this was something we were also warned could happen, another miracle, he has had, mostly as a result of the kepra, mood swings that make the worst pms seem like a woman with a runny nose. But still we are grateful we are blessed.


In March we would find out what type and or level of deficiency (another term I was not familiar with although I have since immersed myself in anything and everything related to this typ of injury while I am no expert I can now at least understand a portion of what the neurologists and neurosurgeons are saying frankly the brain is amazing and much of what most of us think is wrong) my son would suffer from, to surprise of many, again not me, he tested at 98% this is not an intelligence test this is a neuro rehab test so while some fears were allayed many more lingered and every seizure brought / brings more apprehension but again, we are blessed.

This was my son in April 2019
1562394319177.png


In May we began seeing a neurologist not affiliated with Honor Health and she began by establishing baselines, again those of you with experience in this will know that you set baselines and then you retest against those baselines they range from eeg’s to academic testing to activities specifically designed to induce seizures. This also begins the 2 year window where if you have no seizures then at the end of the 2 year window they can take you off the anti seizure medication, unfortunately every time you have a seizure your window closes and is reset to another 2 years, our last seizure was June 26th, so our window reset but again, we are blessed.

Our Journey to date:
November 9th, your son may not live to see November 10th, Nov 11th your son may never awaken from the coma, Early Dec your son may be in a nursing home for the rest of his life and finally your son may never recover to any great extent.
Now: he is again speaking fluent German & conversational Arabic, he will use the able baker alphabet whenever he has the chance, in fact after this last seizure he responded in this manner to the EMT’s (to their complete and utter amazement), on July 9th (albeit with restrictions) he has been released to return to work at Dell. Dr Mirzadeh told my wife with Dr Zieman in attendance, this is the #1 recovery of this type he has ever witnessed, this echoed the sentiments of Dr Sucher and Dr Zach, Dr Mirzadeh also told my wife that he did not know what God she prayed to but to keep praying it is working, he told her his recovery was, in a word, miraculous, he simply said some things we just cannot explain.

The final chapter(s) have yet to be written and certainly the opportunity for a less than ideal ending still exists, every day could quite literally be his last but that takes nothing away from the journey, every day is truly a blessing and whatever the next chapters hold in store it will not alter our faith in any way, we know we will have tremendous ups, we will have tremendous downs, but we are grateful for every day and just feel incredibly blessed, we have met so many outstanding people from many different walks of life throughout and that is also a part of the miracle of this story, @Takeout Slide ,this is the story I thought your congregation might find inspiring.

So as I stated at the beginning, if you ever meet someone who doesn’t believe in miracles, send them my way, I have a story to share.

I truly pray that God blesses each and every one of you, in whatever trials you face, with the same caring and Grace he has shown with us.
 
Last edited:
Feb 11, 2007
4,265
1,930
1,743
Oklahoma City
#6
As a physician, I believe God exists in part because we do not live in a chaotic world. We live in a very complex but orderly world. Things happen over and over in pretty much the same fashion. We all depend upon this orderliness. However, we also are learning from theoretical physics that the universe is continually changing in ways that seem impossible. As a physician, I have seen what anyone would call a miracle. I mean by that I have seen medical "happenings " that were well beyond everything I know or any physician knows. I call these events "miracles".
 

llcoolw

Territorial Marshal
Feb 7, 2005
6,336
3,376
1,743
Sammamish, Washington.Dallas, Texas.Maui, Hawaii
#7
I had to clarify with KSUpoke that this was a personal story for some of us that didn't know. It needs to be bumped back to the top as this is as close to a miracle some of us will ever see. Recommend a reread just to remind us that we should take nothing for granted except maybe we have got some of the coolest fans in the world!
 

ksupoke

We don't need no, thot kuntrol
A/V Subscriber
Feb 16, 2011
12,190
16,475
743
dark sarcasm in the classroom
#8
Well here we are on Oct 60th (there’s a backstory here but suffice it to say, Nov has not been kind to our family for the better part of 8 years now, so we simply extend October to 61 days) the day after Thanksgiving and I could think of no better time to update those of you who have asked. We have so much to be Thankful for and our blessings are undeserved but we are grateful beyond belief.

Before I provide the update I want to mention one thing, I pray that for any of you in any time of need, that you have a friend who has been as much of a friend as @Cimarron has been to us, he has been a confidant, a shoulder, a listening post, and mostly, simply been there in a time of need. I cannot say enough about what he has meant to us.



It has been roughly 385 days since my son’s accident, in about 2 weeks it will be 1 yr since he awoke from his coma and here we are.

3 re-hospitalizations and innumerable seizures later we are incredibly blessed, I say this with all sincerity, every day you wake up and can worry about your loved one/child (age is irrelevant) you have had a blessed day because as we have learned, the day you wake up and don’t have to worry is the day we dread.



Update:

In August my son had to be retested so he was hospitalized and they attempted to induce seizures to determine if they could point to a triggering mechanism, this had been tried before but there was a consensus that it was tried to early the first time. Unfortunately this time it was unsuccessful as well but I will never complain that when the doctors are trying even if it is ultimately not successful and in some ways, quite painful.



In early September we, in cooperation with the neuro, decided to begin weaning my son off of parental dependence, meaning my wife came to Ca for the month of September (we had created a 1 yr plan for my wife to return to Ca on a permanent basis), 4 days into her stay here we almost lost him again, he had what are referred to as cluster seizures and they were bad, he was taken to a hospital in Mesa and received another of ‘the’ calls, please be here as soon as possible (here is a word of advice – if your child/loved one has any medical condition, invest in something, of a non tech type, that provides emergency workers and doctors, nurses etc… something that provides them information from which to work, timing can be the difference between life and death, you cannot rely on an iphone or something else that can fail).

Some 3 days later after some grueling days and nights they had brought the seizures under control and 3 days later he was released from the hospital.

The silver lining is that they created a new cocktail that he takes and since those awful days in September he has not had another seizure, the first time we have had this amount of time without a seizure, God is truly at work.



My son is now back to work f-t with only slight restrictions.

As I had mentioned last time, we still have awful days, we have bad days, we have so-so days, we have good days and we have great days, we are still in a steps forward then steps back mode, every day is a blessed event that we are incredibly grateful. In October through a business connection here in the Silicon Valley we were able to get him a spot in a veterans therapy group in Phoenix, this has been invaluable, he can have discussions that he cannot, understandably, have with his mom and dad or even his individual therapist, he is coming around to the inarguable fact that while life will never be the same, it does go on and it can in time, be better.

(at this point I will also add – if you ever are asked to donate to a vet support group please strongly consider it, there are not enough and those that are available are woefully underfunded)



Last night my wife and son went to Flemmings Steakhouse in N Scottsdale, this is a far cry from the hospital food we enjoyed last Thanksgiving, so we are starting to create a bit of normalcy for him. Although we now have a new normal, it’s not bad, it’s just different as you can see, everything above is now our normal and we will not complain, we are blessed.



In January the first true major step in his recovery begins, he will move to Mesa, as he is not able to drive he has been ubering or relying on the kindness of others for his daily 40 minute to and from commute and believe me when I say there have been an inordinate amount of people who have shown kindness to my son, this will put him less than 3 miles from the Boeing facility, he will be moving into his own apartment without a roommate and this is a major step, the neuro feels that this is his emotional inflection point.


If all goes well my wife will return to Ca on a permanent basis in June which is 1 mo later than our original plan, but still we are blessed.



So I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and that you and your loved ones are showered with blessings not just during the Holidays but throughout the year, you are all in our prayers (like it or not).



If continued to be asked I’ll provide periodic updates, God willing & the creek don’t rise, at some point I can rejoin the fray here on OP.


Pokes 34

Nooners 23
 
Last edited:

jobob85

Alcoholistic Sage
A/V Subscriber
Mar 11, 2009
22,342
27,055
1,743
#10
Well here we are on Oct 60th (there’s a backstory here but suffice it to say, Nov has not been kind to our family for the better part of 8 years now, so we simply extend October to 61 days) the day after Thanksgiving and I could think of no better time to update those of you who have asked. We have so much to be Thankful for and our blessings are undeserved but we are grateful beyond belief.

Before I provide the update I want to mention one thing, I pray that for any of you in any time of need, that you have a friend who has been as much of a friend as @Cimarron has been to us, he has been a confidant, a shoulder, a listening post, and mostly, simply been there in a time of need. I cannot say enough about what he has meant to us.



It has been roughly 385 days since my son’s accident, in about 2 weeks it will be 1 yr since he awoke from his coma and here we are.

3 re-hospitalizations and innumerable seizures later we are incredibly blessed, I say this with all sincerity, every day you wake up and can worry about your loved one/child (age is irrelevant) you have had a blessed day because as we have learned, the day you wake up and don’t have to worry is the day we dread.



Update:

In August my son had to be retested so he was hospitalized and they attempted to induce seizures to determine if they could point to a triggering mechanism, this had been tried before but there was a consensus that it was tried to early the first time. Unfortunately this time it was unsuccessful as well but I will never complain that when the doctors are trying even if it is ultimately not successful and in some ways, quite painful.



In early September we, in cooperation with the neuro, decided to begin weaning my son off of parental dependence, meaning my wife came to Ca for the month of September (we had created a 1 yr plan for my wife to return to Ca on a permanent basis), 4 days into her stay here we almost lost him again, he had what are referred to as cluster seizures and they were bad, he was taken to a hospital in Mesa and received another of ‘the’ calls, please be here as soon as possible (here is a word of advice – if your child/loved one has any medical condition, invest in something, of a non tech type, that provides emergency workers and doctors, nurses etc… something that provides them information from which to work, timing can be the difference between life and death, you cannot rely on an iphone or something else that can fail).

Some 3 days later after some grueling days and nights they had brought the seizures under control and 3 days later he was released from the hospital.

The silver lining is that they created a new cocktail that he takes and since those awful days in September he has not had another seizure, the first time we have had this amount of time without a seizure, God is truly at work.



My son is now back to work f-t with only slight restrictions.

As I had mentioned last time, we still have awful days, we have bad days, we have so-so days, we have good days and we have great days, we are still in a steps forward then steps back mode, every day is a blessed event that we are incredibly grateful. In October through a business connection here in the Silicon Valley we were able to get him a spot in a veterans therapy group in Phoenix, this has been invaluable, he can have discussions that he cannot, understandably, have with his mom and dad or even his individual therapist, he is coming around to the inarguable fact that while life will never be the same, it does go on and it can in time, be better.

(at this point I will also add – if you ever are asked to donate to a vet support group please strongly consider it, there are not enough and those that are available are woefully underfunded)



Last night my wife and son went to Flemmings Steakhouse in N Scottsdale, this is a far cry from the hospital food we enjoyed last Thanksgiving, so we are starting to create a bit of normalcy for him. Although we now have a new normal, it’s not bad, it’s just different as you can see, everything above is now our normal and we will not complain, we are blessed.



In January the first true major step in his recovery begins, he will move to Mesa, as he is not able to drive he has been ubering or relying on the kindness of others for his daily 40 minute to and from commute and believe me when I say there have been an inordinate amount of people who have shown kindness to my son, this will put him less than 3 miles from the Boeing facility, he will be moving into his own apartment without a roommate and this is a major step, the neuro feels that this is his emotional inflection point.


If all goes well my wife will return to Ca on a permanent basis in June which is 1 mo later than our original plan, but still we are blessed.



So I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and that you and your loved ones are showered with blessings not just during the Holidays but throughout the year, you are all in our prayers (like it or not).



If continued to be asked I’ll provide periodic updates, God willing & the creek don’t rise, at some point I can rejoin the fray here on OP.


Pokes 34

Nooners 23
So good to hear things are moving forward. Prayers for continued blessings.
 

llcoolw

Territorial Marshal
Feb 7, 2005
6,336
3,376
1,743
Sammamish, Washington.Dallas, Texas.Maui, Hawaii
#11
Well here we are on Oct 60th (there’s a backstory here but suffice it to say, Nov has not been kind to our family for the better part of 8 years now, so we simply extend October to 61 days) the day after Thanksgiving and I could think of no better time to update those of you who have asked. We have so much to be Thankful for and our blessings are undeserved but we are grateful beyond belief.

Before I provide the update I want to mention one thing, I pray that for any of you in any time of need, that you have a friend who has been as much of a friend as @Cimarron has been to us, he has been a confidant, a shoulder, a listening post, and mostly, simply been there in a time of need. I cannot say enough about what he has meant to us.



It has been roughly 385 days since my son’s accident, in about 2 weeks it will be 1 yr since he awoke from his coma and here we are.

3 re-hospitalizations and innumerable seizures later we are incredibly blessed, I say this with all sincerity, every day you wake up and can worry about your loved one/child (age is irrelevant) you have had a blessed day because as we have learned, the day you wake up and don’t have to worry is the day we dread.



Update:

In August my son had to be retested so he was hospitalized and they attempted to induce seizures to determine if they could point to a triggering mechanism, this had been tried before but there was a consensus that it was tried to early the first time. Unfortunately this time it was unsuccessful as well but I will never complain that when the doctors are trying even if it is ultimately not successful and in some ways, quite painful.



In early September we, in cooperation with the neuro, decided to begin weaning my son off of parental dependence, meaning my wife came to Ca for the month of September (we had created a 1 yr plan for my wife to return to Ca on a permanent basis), 4 days into her stay here we almost lost him again, he had what are referred to as cluster seizures and they were bad, he was taken to a hospital in Mesa and received another of ‘the’ calls, please be here as soon as possible (here is a word of advice – if your child/loved one has any medical condition, invest in something, of a non tech type, that provides emergency workers and doctors, nurses etc… something that provides them information from which to work, timing can be the difference between life and death, you cannot rely on an iphone or something else that can fail).

Some 3 days later after some grueling days and nights they had brought the seizures under control and 3 days later he was released from the hospital.

The silver lining is that they created a new cocktail that he takes and since those awful days in September he has not had another seizure, the first time we have had this amount of time without a seizure, God is truly at work.



My son is now back to work f-t with only slight restrictions.

As I had mentioned last time, we still have awful days, we have bad days, we have so-so days, we have good days and we have great days, we are still in a steps forward then steps back mode, every day is a blessed event that we are incredibly grateful. In October through a business connection here in the Silicon Valley we were able to get him a spot in a veterans therapy group in Phoenix, this has been invaluable, he can have discussions that he cannot, understandably, have with his mom and dad or even his individual therapist, he is coming around to the inarguable fact that while life will never be the same, it does go on and it can in time, be better.

(at this point I will also add – if you ever are asked to donate to a vet support group please strongly consider it, there are not enough and those that are available are woefully underfunded)



Last night my wife and son went to Flemmings Steakhouse in N Scottsdale, this is a far cry from the hospital food we enjoyed last Thanksgiving, so we are starting to create a bit of normalcy for him. Although we now have a new normal, it’s not bad, it’s just different as you can see, everything above is now our normal and we will not complain, we are blessed.



In January the first true major step in his recovery begins, he will move to Mesa, as he is not able to drive he has been ubering or relying on the kindness of others for his daily 40 minute to and from commute and believe me when I say there have been an inordinate amount of people who have shown kindness to my son, this will put him less than 3 miles from the Boeing facility, he will be moving into his own apartment without a roommate and this is a major step, the neuro feels that this is his emotional inflection point.


If all goes well my wife will return to Ca on a permanent basis in June which is 1 mo later than our original plan, but still we are blessed.



So I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and that you and your loved ones are showered with blessings not just during the Holidays but throughout the year, you are all in our prayers (like it or not).



If continued to be asked I’ll provide periodic updates, God willing & the creek don’t rise, at some point I can rejoin the fray here on OP.


Pokes 34

Nooners 23
Very impressive. Great news on getting his own place already. Also glad to hear Cim is doing well as I haven’t seen him here in a long while. ( maybe he’s hanging out in AV )

I gave the surprise emoji first but want to add a big heart too.

Any recommendations on good veteran charities? Appears to be a field crowded with all levels of charity.
 

ksupoke

We don't need no, thot kuntrol
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#12
Very impressive. Great news on getting his own place already. Also glad to hear Cim is doing well as I haven’t seen him here in a long while. ( maybe he’s hanging out in AV )

I gave the surprise emoji first but want to add a big heart too.

Any recommendations on good veteran charities? Appears to be a field crowded with all levels of charity.
I wouldn’t be so bold as to tell you what group to donate to, there are a lot of variables to that.
https://www.veteranssportsmanalliance.org/
That’s the one my son belongs to it’s part therapy part getting out and doing ‘life’ which is hugely important in any rehab effort.
this one has a unique backstory in that the primary founder was injured and was awarded an obscene amount of money, he then set up this organization with the support of his family. I was introduced to it by one of my clients, in a rather happenstance manner.
My advice would be before donating look to see what % of donations go for services vs overhead/ salary, any time salary approaches 10%, personally, I shy away. Something that attracted me to this group is salaries are almost non existent the money goes somewhere around 97% go to support the offerings of the group. I’m in no way recommending this group, just sharing our experience and frustration with a broken system, from lack of resources, confusion of eligibility, ‘meant to be’ confusing billing, insurance etc... Once you actually get through all the bs the health care professionals and volunteers are simply outstanding but many people in our circumstances are less governed by their head and more by the emotion of the situation and these hospitals and insurance companies will take full advantage of people who are vulnerable. We are blessed in many ways but in this case God gave me the ability to separate emotion from the pursuit. If I hadn’t been as dogged as I have (polite way of putting it if you ask the people I’ve dealt with) we would have paid thousands more than we should have, even allowing for insurance.
Anyone who thinks that people who are suffering are, generally speaking, able to logically go through the administrative crap, simply is only looking at it through a single spectrum and frankly they are ignorant of how it works, that doesn’t mean they’re stupid, it means they are ignorant of a specific issue, there’s a distinct difference.
Most people are intimidated by monetary threats add on the emotion of the moment and that makes the intentionally built in confusion worse by orders of magnitude.
 
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llcoolw

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#13
I wouldn’t be so bold as to tell you what group to donate to, there are a lot of variables to that.
https://www.veteranssportsmanalliance.org/
That’s the one my son belongs to it’s part therapy part getting out and doing ‘life’ which is hugely important in any rehab effort.
this one has a unique backstory in that the primary founder was injured and was awarded an obscene amount of money, he then set up this organization with the support of his family. I was introduced to it by one of my clients who I’m helping prep for sale, in a rather happenstance manner.
My advice would be before donating look to see what % of donations go for services vs overhead/ salary, any time salary approaches 10%, personally, I shy away. Something that attracted me to this group is salaries are almost non existent the money goes somewhere around 97% go to support the offerings of the group. I’m in no way recommending this group, just sharing our experience and frustration with a broken system, from lack of resources, confusion of eligibility, ‘meant to be’ confusing billing, insurance etc... Once you actually get through all the bs the health care professionals and volunteers are simply outstanding but many people in our circumstances are less governed by their head and more by the emotion of the situation and these hospitals and insurance companies will take full advantage of people who are vulnerable. We are blessed in many ways but in this case God gave me the ability to separate emotion from the pursuit. If I hadn’t been as dogged as I have (polite way of putting it if you ask the people I’ve dealt with) we would have paid thousands more than we should have, even allowing for insurance.
Anyone who thinks that people who are suffering are, generally speaking, able to logically go through the administrative crap, simply is only looking at it through a single spectrum and frankly they are ignorant of how it works, that doesn’t mean they’re stupid, it means they are ignorant of a specific issue, there’s a distinct difference.
Most people are intimidated by monetary threats add on the emotion of the moment and that makes the intentionally built in confusion worse by orders of magnitude.
That’s exactly what I’m looking for. We have to give X amount a year. We need something worthy that gives 90% or more. So this one is perfect. Thank you.
 

ksupoke

We don't need no, thot kuntrol
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#14
That’s exactly what I’m looking for. We have to give X amount a year. We need something worthy that gives 90% or more. So this one is perfect. Thank you.
Thanks, that’s incredibly generous and entirely unexpected.

Merry Christmas my friend

add: I want to apologize for my diatribe, I’m a little fired up.
Because I went over every bill line by line checked it against insurance statements ran that against my sons health plan, (what I was describing above) I found that we were being over billed by over $9k. So I was a little hot when I replied to your message about the foundation. Shouldn’t have gone there but I did.
 
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llcoolw

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#15
Thanks, that’s incredibly generous and entirely unexpected.

Merry Christmas my friend

add: I want to apologize for my diatribe, I’m a little fired up.
Because I went over every bill line by line checked it against insurance statements ran that against my sons health plan, (what I was describing above) I found that we were being over billed by over $9k. So I was a little hot when I replied to your message about the foundation. Shouldn’t have gone there but I did.
Wow! 9k is crazy out of hand. Good catch. Like I said, you’re actually helping me. It’s hard to find charities that are really about charity. Every January we have to pick new ones since we aren’t allowed to donate to the same charity twice.
 

ksupoke

We don't need no, thot kuntrol
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#16
Wow! 9k is crazy out of hand. Good catch. Like I said, you’re actually helping me. It’s hard to find charities that are really about charity. Every January we have to pick new ones since we aren’t allowed to donate to the same charity twice.
In the big scheme of things $9k is mice nuts, I won't share with you the total, for one it's not done and 2 it is massive 4 weeks in a coma 2 months in a rehab mutliple re-hospitalizations and the every popular, skull off, skull on game (fortunately the tweezers didn't hit the side, you sometimes just have to find humor in the stragest of places and that was one we joked about) - the insurace company and the hospital and the rehab and so on, told me the issue was that it spanned 2 cy's so insurance would reset for deductibles, pharmacy, max oop etc... and that somehow the system became confused. I explained, over the course of several calls, that systems don't get confused they do exactly what they are programmed to do so they had obviously programmed to do it this way and evidently since all of them acted the same way that either they had the same programmers or it was a huge coincedence.

The sad thing is that there are hundredes if not thousands of others who may have not caught this and they may have overpaid and won't find out. None of these companies is in the business of giving back money to those they overcharge.

Thanks again your generosity is truly appreciated.
 

llcoolw

Territorial Marshal
Feb 7, 2005
6,336
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Sammamish, Washington.Dallas, Texas.Maui, Hawaii
#17
In the big scheme of things $9k is mice nuts, I won't share with you the total, for one it's not done and 2 it is massive 4 weeks in a coma 2 months in a rehab mutliple re-hospitalizations and the every popular, skull off, skull on game (fortunately the tweezers didn't hit the side, you sometimes just have to find humor in the stragest of places and that was one we joked about) - the insurace company and the hospital and the rehab and so on, told me the issue was that it spanned 2 cy's so insurance would reset for deductibles, pharmacy, max oop etc... and that somehow the system became confused. I explained, over the course of several calls, that systems don't get confused they do exactly what they are programmed to do so they had obviously programmed to do it this way and evidently since all of them acted the same way that either they had the same programmers or it was a huge coincedence.

The sad thing is that there are hundredes if not thousands of others who may have not caught this and they may have overpaid and won't find out. None of these companies is in the business of giving back money to those they overcharge.

Thanks again your generosity is truly appreciated.
Thousands of victims over paying in thousands of dollars. That’s insanity.