Random Thought of the Day Thread

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I'm making a poll just because I can, awesome right?!?!

  • Yez zir!!!!

    Votes: 39 41.9%
  • No dats stooopid!!!

    Votes: 35 37.6%
  • LOLZ!!!!!

    Votes: 19 20.4%

  • Total voters
    93

OSU79

Territorial Marshal
A/V Subscriber
Oct 22, 2009
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Back home in God's (Green) Country
Martha Stewart, Oprah, your wife. You gotta f one, kill one, and marry one, who do you pick? Go.
Kill Oprah, fuck Martha and marry my wife.
Well, I ain't f-ing OR marrying Oprah, and Martha Stewart would probably make me sign a pre-nup, so you think the answer is obvious (see El Gato quote). BUT, assuming Gail is a package deal with the big-O, and knowing that dried flowers can REALLY get on my nerves certainly complicates matters. Does one of the three have a terminal disease? Cuz that would have to be factored in (you know, a mercy killing, or conversely, a mercy f*#k). This is either too much to contemplate or I'm running out of space, so I'll just go along with the majority.
 

El Gato Bandito

that log had a child
Jan 5, 2009
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Well, I ain't f-ing OR marrying Oprah, and Martha Stewart would probably make me sign a pre-nup, so you think the answer is obvious (see El Gato quote). BUT, assuming Gail is a package deal with the big-O, and knowing that dried flowers can REALLY get on my nerves certainly complicates matters. Does one of the three have a terminal disease? Cuz that would have to be factored in (you know, a mercy killing, or conversely, a mercy f*#k). This is either too much to contemplate or I'm running out of space, so I'll just go along with the majority.
Out of the three you (hopefully) are going to marry your wife. So basically, it comes down to the big questions of: If you absolutely have to. Which one would you fuck out of Martha and Oprah. I can't stand either of them but Oprah absolutely gets on my every last nerve. Plus Martha looks like she has a little bit of sassy bitch in her, and who doesn't like that in the bedroom every now and again. AmiRight?
 

Noven

'Neer Deez Nutz
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Sep 27, 2010
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Who has the heart to not help an endangered monkey like this??

Maybe this guy needs a new hobby?



Only Yesterday, Wuhan Zoo Monkey caretaker Zhang Bangsheng unbelievably used his tongue to lick a small monkey’s butt!

I'm crying with laughter at this one.


50-year-old Zhang Bangsheng used
warm water to clean a small Francois’ Leaf Monkey’s buttocks, then began
using his mouth to lick it, not stopping for over an hour, until the
little monkey defecated a single peanut. Only after the peanut was
defecated did Zhang Bangsheng laugh with satisfaction.
As it is understood, this small
Francois’ langur is only 3 months old, and is the first Francois’ Leaf
Monkey to be born in nearly 10 years at this animal park. The Francois’
langur is a rare primate from Guangxi and Guizhou and is amongst the
nation’s most protected animals. Because it is so precious, the zoo gave
it to model worker and high-level expert Zhang Bangsheng to care for
and raise.
On the first day of the “May 1st”
short holiday, Zhang Bangsheng let the small Francois langur enter the
monkey exhibit for the first time to meet visitors so it can see more of
the world. The next day, Old Zhang discovered that the little monkey
had indigestion and difficulty defecating, and immediately became
worried. Seeing peanut shells on the ground, Old Zhang immediately
understood that visitors had definitely tossed peanuts to the small
monkey, and the toothless monkey swallowed the peanut whole. If it does
not quickly defecate it, it would endanger the little monkey’s life.
Because the monkey is too small, it
wasn’t suitable to use medicine to let it defecate. The only way was to gorge on its tiny asshole, to prompt it to defecate the peanut, and so the scene at
the start of this article occurred.

 

jobob85

Alcoholistic Sage
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Mar 11, 2009
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Someone please tell me how I can un-read this article.
I read it and was shocked that someone didn't just give the little shit a good squeeze to shoot the peanut out. Otherwise that things gonna die. Gorging on monkey butt is not on the bucket list.
 

jobob85

Alcoholistic Sage
A/V Subscriber
Mar 11, 2009
20,266
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Just got a new tube of toothpaste this morning. The paste is white with orange gel stripes. Now my problem is it makes me want to brush more but I am worried about running out of this awesome color combo.