Southern Baptist Convention Sexual Misconduct Report shows SBC mishandled or ignored claims last year

[andylicious]

How about sharing what actually happened?

From the Daily Mail:
As the couple left the stage, the pastor then faced angry calls from the congregation.

'If you did it you need to admit it!' said one angry church-goer.

Another yelled: 'We need to hear from our pastor!' A third then cried out: 'Give him the microphone!'

Lowe returned to the stage.

At first he said: 'I told you I committed adultery and that it went on far too long.'

A member of the congregation then shouted out: 'You didn't tell us she was 16!'

He then relented: 'It was wrong. I can't make it right. I can't make it better. That's just the way it is.

'It's not all true but it did happen, yes.' (Rx: still trying to minimize, disgusting)

Because the legal age of consent in Indiana is 16, Lowe is not likely to face criminal charges for the relationship.

He has stepped down from the church and has been scrubbed from its website.

In a statement, the church said: 'This long-held secret first came to light when a woman in the church came forward and disclosed the relationship to various people within the church.

'When confronted by others in church leadership concerning that report, Pastor Lowe confessed privately that the adultery did, in fact, occur.

'In anticipation of Pastor Lowe’s public confession during our church service, the woman in question and her family were invited to be present.

'She did attend and, together with her husband, also addressed the congregation, indicating that improper sexual conduct first occurred when she was 16 years of age and continued into her twenties. She tearfully described living with deep shame and pain over the ensuing years.

'In the wake of what has now been revealed, we are hurting and broken for a woman who has lovingly attended and served in the church for many years, as well as for her husband and family.

'It is our deepest prayer and commitment to love, support, encourage and help her through a process of healing in any way in which we are able.

'Our brokenness extends to Pastor Lowe, his wife and family as well.

'For 42 years, New Life has taught and preached a Cross-driven message of repentance, forgiveness and restoration; a ministry of reconciliation which has been both led and modeled by Pastors John and Debbie Lowe.

'As healing occurs in their hearts, their marriage and family, we are committed to demonstrating the same support, encouragement, counsel and forgiveness that has come to define the collective heart and ministry of this body.'

Rx, the problem remains that man was still in the pulpit after he confessed an affair to church leadership. The leadership of the church didn't remove him from their pulpit and it didn't come to light until the woman confronted her abuser publicly. I watched the video and there were a few angry people, but they still had a prayer meeting around the dude. There wasn't a mass rush to the woman that was taken advantage of as a 16 year old girl.

The man in a pedophile. I guess I am sensitive to this because I've had administrators try to get me to hire coaches that like the girls because they are "good" coaches and "good" guys that made a mistake. I have no room in my patience for not making those that take advantage of kids accountable for their actions. It's a problem.

 

[OSUPsych]

Rx, the problem remains that man was still in the pulpit after he confessed an affair to church leadership. The leadership of the church didn't remove him from their pulpit and it didn't come to light until the woman confronted her abuser publicly. I watched the video and there were a few angry people, but they still had a prayer meeting around the dude. There wasn't a mass rush to the woman that was taken advantage of as a 16 year old girl.

The man in a pedophile. I guess I am sensitive to this because I've had administrators try to get me to hire coaches that like the girls because they are "good" coaches and "good" guys that made a mistake. I have no room in my patience for not making those that take advantage of kids accountable for their actions. It's a problem.

Whoa....say what now about people wanting to hire coaches that like the girls?

 

[andylicious]

Whoa....say what now about people wanting to hire coaches that like the girls?

It has happened, but it's getting much better. Early in my admin career I was told what I wrote several times. I always took the time to do my research and I don't think I ever had one slip by me but who knows. The process was they would allow the coach to resign so there wouldn't be a possible due process that would put it all on record. After the resignation the most you could get out of the old employer was accomplishments and they are a good guy. If you asked directly about the sticky stuff it would get real quiet on the other end of the phone.
phone.

The last five to ten years we have seen it improve dramatically since they passed the laws about having to report this kind of activity. If they get caught now it is supposed to be turned into the state department and they lose their certificate so they can't coach or teach.

 

[OSUPsych]

It has happened, but it's getting much better. Early in my admin career I was told what I wrote several times. I always took the time to do my research and I don't think I ever had one slip by me but who knows. The process was they would allow the coach to resign so there wouldn't be a possible due process that would put it all on record. After the resignation the most you could get out of the old employer was accomplishments and they are a good guy. If you asked directly about the sticky stuff it would get real quiet on the other end of the phone.
phone.

The last five to ten years we have seen it improve dramatically since they passed the laws about having to report this kind of activity. If they get caught now it is supposed to be turned into the state department and they lose their certificate so they can't coach or teach.

I still want to throw up a little. It takes mandatory reporting laws to get people to not want to hire these guys.

 

[UrbanCowboy1]

I did not see where anyone in the congregation was calling her out. There was the one idiot who stood on the platform in front of her, clearly trying to intimidate her. However, at the end, they are calling him out, asking if the charge is true, and they are pretty angry sounding. He does keep trying to call it "adultery". But I also see people gather around her at the end of the video. The first was the lady who reached out to hug her. I think this scene is a lot more complex than it is being made out to be. I would also be interested in the knowing the fall out.

In the blue suit jacket? That's...the pastor.

Was going to get a screen grab, but the video has mysteriously disappeared.

 

[RxCowboy]

In the blue suit jacket? That's...the pastor.

Was going to get a screen grab, but the video has mysteriously disappeared.

Bearded guy with curly hair, appeared to have come from the first row. He was clearly hostile to what she was saying.

 

[RxCowboy]

Rx, the problem remains that man was still in the pulpit after he confessed an affair to church leadership. The leadership of the church didn't remove him from their pulpit and it didn't come to light until the woman confronted her abuser publicly. I watched the video and there were a few angry people, but they still had a prayer meeting around the dude. There wasn't a mass rush to the woman that was taken advantage of as a 16 year old girl.

The man in a pedophile. I guess I am sensitive to this because I've had administrators try to get me to hire coaches that like the girls because they are "good" coaches and "good" guys that made a mistake. I have no room in my patience for not making those that take advantage of kids accountable for their actions. It's a problem.

He was removed after the video ended. It is a mistake to think we saw everything that happened.

Yeah, I agree he is a pedophile. It appears his son has been doing the same things.

 

[UrbanCowboy1]

Bearded guy with curly hair, appeared to have come from the first row. He was clearly hostile to what she was saying.

Ah, gotcha.


As to the post you put up detailing the molestation, was that the pastor's son? As in the pastor did this to a 16 year old girl and his son, who was babysitting another family, did it to a child? Two molesters in the same family? Just wanted to make sure I understood.

 

[andylicious]

I still want to throw up a little. It takes mandatory reporting laws to get people to not want to hire these guys.

Unfortunately, yes. It's the passing of the 'verts

 

[RxCowboy]

I never said the questions were for her. I just wrote "a few questions." I just wrote two sentences. Quit being absurd and trying to grade my 44 words like it is a dissertation. You found a foreign newspaper that gave more detail than my two sentences in a full article with multiple paragraphs. Good for you.

Again, I wrote what made an impression on me in a two-sentence summary of a very long video. In no way did I claim that those 44 words were a treatise covering all aspects. I also didn't mention her caring husband. Someone else could come and claim that isn't telling the accurate story. You have a different opinion of what should have gone in a two-sentence summary. You have IN NO WAY shown that anything I wrote did not happen. You have merely added other things. But, you have shown that you can still be a petty, irritating person on a message board. A normal person would have written "I also watched the video and I saw people angrily questioning him........" and I would have had no issue with that. Add opinions, it is a message board after all. But, instead, you are wanting what you felt is important to have enough importance to me to put it in my very brief two sentences. Well, sorry, that isn't for you to decide even if you can't stand the thought that other's people's perspectives are just as important as yours.

"people angrily questioning him" isn't opinion, it is fact. It happened. That was the entire point of the disinterested third party reporting. Your 44 words were chosen to give an impression of what happened that simply wasn't accurate. There, you have my opinion.

 

[RxCowboy]

Ah, gotcha.


As to the post you put up detailing the molestation, was that the pastor's son? As in the pastor did this to a 16 year old girl and his son, who was babysitting another family, did it to a child? Two molesters in the same family? Just wanted to make sure I understood.

Yep, appears that apple didn't fall far from the tree.

 

[RxCowboy]

Ah, gotcha.


As to the post you put up detailing the molestation, was that the pastor's son? As in the pastor did this to a 16 year old girl and his son, who was babysitting another family, did it to a child? Two molesters in the same family? Just wanted to make sure I understood.

The video and that post are both gone from Facebook, btw.

 

[RxCowboy]

It's even worse...

 

[steross]

"people angrily questioning him" isn't opinion, it is fact. It happened. That was the entire point of the disinterested third party reporting. Your 44 words were chosen to give an impression of what happened that simply wasn't accurate. There, you have my opinion.

I wrote "questions" instead of "angrily questioning"
I also wrote "woman saying" instead of "woman tearfully pleading out her anguish with her husband."

But, your opinion only had an issue with one of those methods of brevity and not the other even though they were equally "inaccurate."

Your incessant words are also giving an impression, that is for sure.

And, you know what is FAR more accurate that "third party reporting?" Posting the damn video itself, as I did.

 

[OSUPsych]

It's even worse...

View attachment 95797

This kind of investigation is what the church should have done and should have announced when he gave that minimizing "adultery" speech. He seemed to emphasize the "just happened once" part a little too much.

 

[Binman4OSU]

well the list is out. I counted 26 Events on the list from Oklahoma

https://sbcec.s3.amazonaws.com/FINAL+-+List+of+Alleged+Abusers+-+SBC+REDACTED.pdf

 

[PF5]

I am a Christian...I do not attend church...I have lost faith in churches much the same way I have lost faith with our government...are all churches/leaders bad? NO...are all politicians bad? NO...but the overall body of work is bad...growing up I attended a baptist church, went Sunday morning and night and Wednesday nights every week!...I have attended Catholic (cuz of a girlfriend, ha), Church of Christ, Methodist, and Non-Denom...to me, they are all very similar, and not what I need to be around in order to live a Christian life...Imo, we have too many mega churches that are mostly concerned with $$$ and of course we have sex offenders that repent, may or may not lose job, if lose job, go to another one and keep preaching...anyways, to keep the rambling going, I DO NOT believe a sin is a sin...you will never convince me that raping and killing someone is on the same level as stealing a candy bar...I'm not sure what heaven is like or hell, but I do believe we will ALL be a little surprised when we leave this world...

 

[Rack]

I am a Christian...I do not attend church...I have lost faith in churches much the same way I have lost faith with our government...are all churches/leaders bad? NO...are all politicians bad? NO...but the overall body of work is bad...growing up I attended a baptist church, went Sunday morning and night and Wednesday nights every week!...I have attended Catholic (cuz of a girlfriend, ha), Church of Christ, Methodist, and Non-Denom...to me, they are all very similar, and not what I need to be around in order to live a Christian life...Imo, we have too many mega churches that are mostly concerned with $$$ and of course we have sex offenders that repent, may or may not lose job, if lose job, go to another one and keep preaching...anyways, to keep the rambling going, I DO NOT believe a sin is a sin...you will never convince me that raping and killing someone is on the same level as stealing a candy bar...I'm not sure what heaven is like or hell, but I do believe we will ALL be a little surprised when we leave this world...

@PF5- I appreciate this post in these times of division and abuse by many in the church of the body and our triggered nation. What I would encourage you to do however is to pray for a ministry and to use you each day to be who he wants you to be. I do believe that being in a community of other believers, some not good and some very good, is healthy for both you and others in that group. In fact it is through the relationships that you garner that change in the church body happens. Someone like you has a lot to add to needed reform. Btw, you are so right that Christianity was never meant to be something we do on Sunday only, it’s a mindset, a direction, a way to be made what our intent was in his creation. May the peace of God that pass all understanding be with you today. May you find the humility we all need to move forward in our faith and to become effective for Gods plan. I, like you, are quite discouraged by the modern church, but if I take myself out of the church my effect on changing things for love, ends. This, mind you, just as I’m considering a massive change in my and my spouses life that would take us “out” of the local church…I do however intend to continue to make an impact in even a greater way through that change. Life long brother like good friends have come from being in the church community and sharing my concerns. Just something to consider. In humility, by someone who is in the midst of his own personal reform, @Rack. God bless!

 

[HacklemanPoke]

I am a Christian...I do not attend church...I have lost faith in churches much the same way I have lost faith with our government...are all churches/leaders bad? NO...are all politicians bad? NO...but the overall body of work is bad...growing up I attended a baptist church, went Sunday morning and night and Wednesday nights every week!...I have attended Catholic (cuz of a girlfriend, ha), Church of Christ, Methodist, and Non-Denom...to me, they are all very similar, and not what I need to be around in order to live a Christian life...Imo, we have too many mega churches that are mostly concerned with $$$ and of course we have sex offenders that repent, may or may not lose job, if lose job, go to another one and keep preaching...anyways, to keep the rambling going, I DO NOT believe a sin is a sin...you will never convince me that raping and killing someone is on the same level as stealing a candy bar...I'm not sure what heaven is like or hell, but I do believe we will ALL be a little surprised when we leave this world...

I really feel for you. We have experienced similar. Just my advice so do with it what you will. Church is not “doing ministry”. It’s not drinking coffee and listening to a worship band w cool lights and smoke machines. Church is not even listening to a pastor expound on his or her scripture of the day or some cool new weekly sermon series. Can it be those things? Sure given the body of believers.

What I encourage is for you w your family and friends to get a group of 10 or so. Then once a week or every 2 weeks or whatever fits your schedule have “Taco Tuesday” or Chick-fil-A Thursday or whataburger Wednesday or golden dragon Friday or just make sandwiches. Everyone break bread together and remember who the Christ is. Tell funny stories and share your week. Your ups and downs. If appropriate read scripture and pray on it together even w your kiddos (especially w your kiddos). Encourage one another to be kind to their families, their friends their coworkers and most importantly those that might be difficult in their lives. In short just live life together. Take care of each other (financially if need be). SACRIFICE for each other. Find a cause worth donating time and money. Get to a point where you actually start discipling each other and others. If someone is musically inclined sing worship songs together. Invite others to your group that you know are going through what you are.

If you know of others working through things as you are that are out of town, have them join you via FaceTime or zoom and eat the same meal as those gathered.

Don’t go to church. Don’t do church. Be His Church (which can look a lot different than what we have on Sundays).

There are a lot of believers going through what you are. All ages all races. It’s ok to process what you are working through. It’s ok to question. Thomas lived daily w Jesus. Saw all the miracles. Heard all the teaching. And he still asked for proof.

 

[andylicious]

I was kind of struggling with the whole church thing. Due to my career changes I moved from a great church that was warm and caring to one that is all about entertainment with a less than average preacher. One Sunday they said they couldn't find anyone to do ministry at the local assisted living center. I volunteered and it was one of the single best things I have ever been led to do. As my parents aged I had to give it up to help them, which trumps just about everything else except my wife.

Find your spot, God will lead you. You just need to listen. No one else can do that for you.